The future has always been something I’ve found quite daunting. The main reason is that once I start thinking about it, I can’t stop. My whole life I’ve been a student, and after I graduate from university this year, I’ll be entering what I’ve always pictured as a sort of void in my head. Gone is the structure of school and university — in its place, council tax, increased income tax, and the worry of covering the cost of living without a maintenance loan to fall back on. These things stack up in my head, and since I am who I am, the weight of them lands heavier than it probably should.
People with ADHD like myself often get crushed by the possibilities of “what if.” But I’ve realised I just need to come to terms with that — sure, there’s the what if it doesn’t work, but there’s also the what if it does work, and that alone is worth holding onto.
I tell myself that who I am in a year or two from now will be a reflection of what I put in today. I hope that’s true.
