Parenting is a lot…or is that just my opinion?
Parenting when your brain works a little differently from what the world expects? That adds another layer. And parenting a child whose brain also works differently? That’s a whole different adventure.
…sometimes NOT for the weak!!!!
For many neurodiverse individuals who are parents, raising neurodiverse kids comes with moments that are both incredibly hard and incredibly validating. Sometimes you look at your child and think, oh… that’s exactly how my brain works too….
And suddenly a lot of things start to make sense.
The “Wait… That’s Me, I Do That Too” Moment
A lot of parents first start noticing their own neurodivergence when their child is being assessed or supported. You hear things like sensory overload, executive functioning, masking, hyperfocus… and you start thinking about your own childhood.
Does everyone not do these things?
Maybe loud classrooms always overwhelmed you.
Maybe routines were the only way you kept things together.
Maybe you spent years feeling “too sensitive,” “too intense,” or “too distracted.”
Seeing those traits in your child can feel strange at first — but it can also bring a lot of understanding.
When Everyone in the House Has a Full Brain
One thing people don’t talk about enough is how much energy it takes to manage everything when both parent and child are neurodivergent.
You’re helping your child regulate their emotions while also trying to regulate your own.
You’re keeping track of school forms, routines, meals, and appointments while also dealing with executive dysfunction… whilst working full time!!!
And sometimes the house is loud, chaotic, overstimulating, and everyone is overwhelmed at the same time… thinking… can I just run away?
Some days it feels like you’re juggling while your brain already has 20 tabs open in the background.
And that’s okay.
The Secret Superpower: Understanding
Here’s the upside that people don’t talk about enough.
When your child says the classroom is too loud, you get it.
When they need quiet time after school, you understand why.
When they hyperfocus on something they love for hours, you probably smile a little because you’ve done the same thing — and still do.
That shared understanding can create a kind of connection that many kids don’t always get. Instead of feeling like something is “wrong” with them, they grow up in a house where their brain is understood.
And that matters more than people realise.
Making a House That Works for Your Brains
A lot of parenting advice is built around neurotypical expectations. Perfect routines, perfectly organised homes, perfect systems.
But neurodiverse families often need different things.
Maybe that means:
• Visual reminders… I won’t forget items if they’re sitting blocking the front door… or will I?
• Flexible routines… set alarms 15 minutes earlier… is that just me?
• Quiet spaces where anyone can decompress (even the bathroom… my favourite place, my sanctuary, numerous baths…bliss)
• Accepting that some days are simply “survival mode” days
The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is a home where everyone feels safe being themselves.
Breaking the Cycle
One powerful thing about neurodiverse parenting is that many parents are giving their kids something they didn’t get growing up… understanding and acceptance!!!
Did you grow up being told you were lazy, dramatic, disorganised, or “too much”?
Do you recognise your child’s needs and support them instead of shaming them?
…you’re breaking that cycle.
And honestly, that’s HUGE.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
If you’re a neurodiverse parent raising a neurodiverse child, chances are you worry a lot about whether you’re doing things “right.”
But here’s the truth…
Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent… what even is that?
They need a parent who listens, who tries, who learns, and who understands their brain…unless it involves Fortnight, Minecraft, or 6-7…what even is that?
And if your brain works in a similar way?
You might be exactly the parent they need — the person who will be their biggest advocate and supporter all wrapped into one.
Written by A parent who is winging life…but that’s ok too!!!
Laura Ferguson
Written from my sanctuary… the bathroom.
AKA the bog!!!!
